Arsenal
Who would you rather watch the match with?
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Manager
Arsene Wenger
Tells you calmly that you did not see the tackle.
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Manager
Bertie Mee
Started as the physio, so he asks who is injured first.
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Player
Bukayo Saka
Smiles through everything and has the whole pub smiling.
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Celebrity
Colin Firth
Lives every last-minute goal as if it were Fever Pitch.
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Celebrity
Daniel Kaluuya
Narrates the whole match, and it sounds like a documentary.
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Player
David Seaman
Safe hands, calm head, and never drops your pint.
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Player
Dennis Bergkamp
Says nothing for 80 minutes, then the one perfect observation.
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Celebrity
Dua Lipa
Dances through every goal.
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Player
Freddie Ljungberg
Wild hair, wild celebrations, loudest in the room.
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Manager
George Allison
Steady hand, calm voice, never rattled.
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Manager
George Graham
Wants a clean sheet and silence until the final whistle.
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Manager
Harry Bradshaw
Laid the foundations a century ago and wants the credit.
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Manager
Herbert Chapman
Arrives with a tactics board and a plan for the next ten years.
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Player
Ian Wright
Celebrates every goal like he scored it, and every win like a title.
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Celebrity
Idris Elba
Brings the sound system and the strong opinions.
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Celebrity
Jamie Foxx
Starts a chant, then keeps going for 90 minutes.
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Celebrity
Lewis Hamilton
Wants the fastest possible counter-attack.
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Celebrity
Mick Jagger
Makes the whole stand feel like a stadium gig.
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Manager
Mikel Arteta
Cannot stay in his seat and will not stop gesturing.
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Player
Patrick Vieira
Takes charge of the room and the seating plan.
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Player
Ray Parlour
Local lad, loud, and always ready for a long shot.
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Player
Robert Pires
Elegant, calm, and always right about the pass.
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Manager
Terry Neill
Believes in the comeback until the final second.
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Player
Thierry Henry
228 goals, and he still explains where the space was.
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Player
Tony Adams
Never sits down and will not let you either.
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Manager
Unai Emery
Has a plan for everything and a spreadsheet for the rest.
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